Whose Choice?

So I get Jezebel.com RSS feed to my Google Reader (Which, btw, I highly recommend. A perfect less-guilty-pleasure for the feminist who likes to see the shows from fall fashion week and indulge in a little "star-gazing"). Check out this Center for Reproductive Rights article regarding a report on the Hyde Amendment, and its tendency to hurt women in poverty especially. Here's what they say about it:



"How does Hyde affect a woman, the family she is working to take care of, and her community? Those are the questions the Center for Reproductive Right's report, WHOSE CHOICE? How the Hyde Amendment Harms Poor Women, answers as it documents just how damaging this policy has been and promises to be."

I am thinking about these issues in a much more personal way since I recently heard a story of a violation of women's rights of a different sort that happened to a close friend. The juxtaposition of these two stories, individual and national, remind me how easy it is to be complacent. As a white woman from a middle-class upbringing, this year I'm experiencing some new, different and negative aspects of navigating health care without insurance -- the world of free clinics. I'm only beginning to see firsthand the realities women in poverty face when they have to try to self-advocate without systemic, or even familial, support. When you receive adequate care (or even inadequate but existent care), it's so easy to forget why -- what about your life allows you to access this adequate care -- and what it would be like for you if even one of your personal circumstances were different.

In our world today, living as women (really, anyone who is living as "other"), we are constantly on the brink of losing, of not having a choice. What if he doesn't listen when I say no? What if they don't approve of my behavior? What if they make an example of me? We shouldn't have to wonder if we'll have legal recompense when the dominant culture doesn't protect us.  We should be allowed to make our own decisions about our own bodies: the freedom of choice. As far as I'm concerned, that right is as inalienable as the freedom to speak, to write, to worship, to love. The real test of character is not when the problem sits across an ocean, across a state line, across the street. The test of character is to look in the mirror and see the world staring back at you, and to choose the world -- to choose the good and bad and beautiful and ugly and see that in yourself. To forgive yourself. To strive to make the world better.